Friday, March 14, 2008

The Ghost of Drinking Past

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: The Ghosts of Drinking Past

Cindy: “Here are your drinks. Would you like anything else? Breadsticks? More appetizers? Refills on your beers?”

No thanks Cindy, the beers you just gave us are actually quite full.”

Cindy: “Oh, okay.” Cindy turns and heads back to the kitchen.

Is it just me or is she getting ditzier?”

I think it's just you. She's always like that.”

We've all had our ditzy moments. Remember when we went out for Amy's birthday down in the village?”

Which time was that?”

Yeah! That's the time Scott and Billy ended up in Coney Island at 4am!”

Hey, I just drive the subway, no one says I'm supposed to know how to use it!”

I was just following him, I figured that he knew a shortcut or something.”

Turns out, 'downtown and brooklyn' is not a shortcut for 'uptown'.”

My sense of direction gets all befuddled when I'm drunk.”

We were all pretty drunk that night. That bar was pretty awesome.”

That was the place with hundreds of bottles of beer right?”

Yup, and a full page of Martini's too. That Bananarama drink must've had four ounces of alcohol in it.”

I love how the menu says there is a 'two martini limit'.”

Didn't the bartender/waitress tease us about that when she brought us what must've been like our 7th round?”

Yes, that's because Scott was flirting with her though.”

She was hot! She looked like the girl from Roswell.”

Was that the same trip Ann forgot where we lived?”

I did not forget where we lived!”

Then why did you tell the taxi driver to let us out nine blocks from our apartment?”

I wanted to get a bottle of coke, we were out.”

And in your oh-so-lucid 6-beer state, you decided the best place to do that was a Dunkin Donuts nine blocks from our apartment, even though there are at least two that are closer?”

You have a problem with that? Besides, it's not like any of the three of you corrected me when I told him the address.”

We weren't listening! We kind of trusted you to know where we lived. Amy and Sue were probably even more drunk than you anyway. Sue kept thinking she heard police sirens, and Amy was being all nostalgic about 1996! They were in no condition to be checking your accuracy.”

You got an extra large Dunkaccino, so I don't know that you have a right to be complaining.”

Ahh, but do you remember why she wanted more coffee?”

No. I vaguely remember she had already had coffee, but I can't remember much else.”

She'd gotten a coffee from the McDonalds near the bar, then tripped on the curb and sent it flying into some girl that was walking by.”

The curb jumped out at me!”

That's right, and then we quickly hopped in the cab Amy'd already hailed. I wonder what happened with the girl?”

She was screaming obscenities after you left. Glad she didn't realize me and Tab were with you.”

I'm sure a couple of martinis calmed her right down.”

Yeah, nothing like heavy drinking to recover from being covered in coffee.”

At least Sara got more coffee, she didn't spill that one did she?”

_I_ didn't spill it, no.”

Must've been clumsy Ann then.”

No, it just spilled.”

Ghosts? We were the only two home.”

That's not true! Amy and Sue came in, remember? We had a night cap?”

No, actually I have very little recollection of anything after the grueling walk back.”

Oh please, it was nine blocks, get over it! You didn't even burn off the Dunkaccino in that.”

Cindy: “Dunkin Donuts!! I love the Milky Way hot chocolate. It's like my crack.”

Did she come over here just to say that?”

I think so. Honestly I don't remember much of our nightcap either. After Sue distracted you and Amy and I added a shot of Rumplemintz to your coffee, it was all downhill. I vaguely remember doing Tequila shots, which always seems like a good idea after your smashed until you are still tasting them at dinner the next day.”

There was definitely tequila. I could detect the pleasant aroma of agave when we got back later.”

That pleasant odor didn't last long unfortunately.” Billy looks over at Tabitha.

Aww, that's right. Tab can't hold her liquor! Maybe I better help you with that..” Scott says, reaching for Tabithas cosmo.

No! Mine!” Tabitha slaps Scott's hand away. “Besides, I think it was the falafel after drinking that did me in that night.”

I didn't realize you guys had gotten falafel! I might've stuck around for that!”

If you'd have used our bathroom the next day, you'd have known she had falafel.”

Gross Ann! It wasn't that bad.”

Maybe it was that last beer you had. Where was it from, Vietnam? I had falafel too and I was fine.”

I'm not sure if you had falafel or falafel had you. You were so covered in falafel and hummus from walking and eating that I was doubting you'd ingested any at all.”

Was this before or after you had the lame-brained idea to walk the 80 plus blocks back to the apartment while drunk?”

Walking while you're drunk is a great way to burn off the extra calories.”

The way we were walking if we'd kept going we'd have been lucky not to end up in the East River.”

We barely made it to the Astor Place subway stop anyway.”

And that's where we got our coffee for the trip back. Mud Truck!”

We didn't spill it though. Although you almost tripped over Sue and Amy who never made it back to their place and were sleeping in the hallway outside the apartment.”

They were really unhappy when I woke them up and hurried them along back home too!”

Guess the tequila shots weren't a wise idea for them either.”

Cindy: “Hold your horses, I have them right here!” Cindy puts seven tequila shots on the table.

Cindy: “Don't tell anyone!” Cindy says, and downs one of the shots.

Way to go Cindy!”

Ann exchanges a look with Sara. “You just can't say no to tequila I guess. A toast?”

To agave!”

No no, to the start of another crazy drunken night!”

Here here!” Scott says, and they all clink their shot glasses and do the shot before gesturing to Cindy for six more.


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